Troubles Don’t Last Always If…
by
Dr. Gloria "Jo" Floyd (Ph.D., RN)
The Nurses Coach
Are you troubled in many aspects of your nursing life? Do you feel worse and worse
every or most days? Have you often or recently thought, “If there is trouble anywhere
it will fine me first?” Have you at times been at your wits end? Do you feel that
your personal and/or professional life is in shambles? Are you convinced that you are
doomed to your current circumstance? If so, listen up…it doesn’t have to be so.
Just trust me and know that troubles don’t last always if…you get focused my
friend in the right direction. And know this is not going to be Preaching 101, but rather,
key steps to move trouble from your life.
Here’s The Scoop
If you are doing anything in your life my nursing buddy that is worthwhile every now and
then some rain will fall. Life just is not going to always be a bowl of cherries or better
a bowl of strawberries ready to dip in chocolate.
Ask around and you will find that you are not the only nurse who feels that Satan or
somebody or something worse is sitting on top of your house, standing on your desk or
running down the hallway after you, where ever you nurse, shop or eat. It is just not so.
How do I know? Cause he is over my house, office, car, etc….that’s a joke folks.
So what I am trying to say is life is not always going to be sweet. At work you may find
that things are not going right. The boss, who could be you, is running into brick walls,
acting out of it and clearly off center. Supplies didn’t arrive, the equipment
doesn’t work, some apathetic nurse didn’t show up for work, the check from your
employer/client bounced, your clients are cranky, you are cranky…you get the picture.
And what makes it worse is this is a usual day.
Well, don’t get discouraged yet. It could be worse. Your checks could be bouncing,
your roof could have blown off, you could be in the situation where you can’t pay
your bills, your health is shot and you just got fired. Your relationships could be
shattered. Your
mother could disown you. And your friends could be not returning your calls. You could
have just been offered a head nurse position or told your organization was bankrupt and
about to close. Someone could have just robbed your house and stole your car. Census could
be down. You could be over weight, and your mother-in-law or most dreaded relative has
asked to move in!! No, all of this could not be your situation right now. So in other
words, things could get worse.
Seriously, things could get worse. However, I recognize that what you are feeling hurts,
pulls you down, fags you out and that to you…your troubles are no laughing matter,
whether they be at home or work. Therefore, here I am going to give you my formula for:
 | Getting past the daily hurdles |
| Keeping your best face forward |
| Taking your lumps better |
| Staying focused in times of trouble |
| Planning for your worse days, and |
| Trampling troubles every time they come your way. |
Step One: Shake Out Your Blessings and Give Thanks
If you get up or arrive at work feeling what else could go wrong, just keep that
thought; shake out your blessings and give thanks. For what? – for how bad it is not.
Trust me when things get bad, they can really get bad. So, every time you think this is
the worst of the worst, re-kindle your spirit by saying “This is difficult but is
could be worse.” And just stop and think about other ways this could have played out.
To make
it simple, say you had one staff member not show up – remember they all could have
walked out. You had a fender bender – you could have been critically injured or died.
No matter how many times you are traumatized daily, shake out your blessing and give
thanks!! It works.
Step Two: Take Each Day One At A Time
Don’t let me hear you say it. Don’t start traumatizing over things that
haven’t happed yet, like “I know she is probably not going to show up tomorrow
either.” “I’ll probably have a worse wreck next time.” “My
spouse is probably going to…” You get the picture. The
“troubles” you have today are enough for today. Don’t let yourself get
carried away on a tide of “Oh, woe is me!” Instead, recognize that today is all
you are promised and make the most of it…then plan to assure tomorrow is better.
Step Three: Build Your Foundation On A Rock
If your life is full of personal and professional troubles all the time let me suggest
that you step back and look at your life’s foundation. Is your emotional, financial,
social, physical and mental foundation built on a rock or on an unsound, weak, unstable
hill of sand? How are you centering your spirit? Do you have a power source that is not
washed away with the first rainfall? What are your solid foundations? Where do you
renew your faith? Are your values, attitudes and beliefs grounded in your Almighty? Are
you traveling through your personal and professional life without a strong anchor? Are you
feeding your spirit? Or is your whole life hinged on sinking and easily washed away sand?
If so this has to change.
Get your spirit back. Find it in solitude, reflection, prayer, meditation, counseling, a
church, mosque or synagogue, a spirit-centered friend, write or call me, read a bible or
see a chaplain, priest, rabbi, or other spiritual leader. In other words, build your
soul’s foundation up and on a spiritual rock that can carry you through your troubled
times.
Step Four: Put On Your Prescriptive Armor
Troubles become like ants in our lives if we put on our armor. So what armor would work
for you in your nursing life? Think about the things you need to enrich your total
life’s circumstance and then set out to assure that your armor stays intact. And let
me suggest some armor every one of us should be sure we have:
Prescriptive Armor #1 – Wisdom
Think through the big things that can trouble your life. List some of them right now on a
blank sheet of paper. They might read something like this:
| Poor Health |
| Divorce |
| A Difficult Supervisor ?Loss of a Loved One |
| Not Enough Money ?Managed Care |
| A Family Crisis ?Cost Containment |
| A Catastrophic Injury ?Etc. |
Stop and think about how wisdom can help you go through these and other calamities.
Wisdom – can be a great armor. It can help you see the worse case scenario. It can
help you in your search for the resources you need. It can steer you in the right
direction. It can chart a course away from your troubles and toward your rock – your
foundation – your spiritual tower, and out of perceived darkness into promised light.
So what am I saying to you? I am only suggesting that before trouble befalls you or is at
your door, build an armor foundation. Cull out of your mind what your resources are. Ask
and answer in writing to deepen today your armor.
Prescriptive Armor #2 – Resources
Who are my resources for assistance, encouragement, support, intimacy and love? Start with
those you have helped and guided. List them all now.
Prescriptive Armor #3 - Finances
What financial options can I count on to help me deal with or manage any financial crises
that may befall me? Planning ahead is a good beginning. Don’t stop until you have
listed at least six sources you might be able to turn to.
Prescriptive Armor #4 – Relationships
What steps should I be taking on a daily basis to assure stability in my relationships?
Try more sharing, giving, helping, nurturing, being loving, kind, available and related.
Prescriptive Armor #5 – Investments
What investments do I make now personally and professionally to stem the tide of troubles
in my life? You might answer savings accounts, stocks, bonds, certificates of deposit,
budgeting, penny pinching, etc.
Prescriptive Armor #6 – Credentials
What credentials should I work on now via education, continuing education, research,
writings, on the job training, and/or the world wide web to keep me on top of the heap
– the most marketable, needed and desired professionally?
Prescriptive Armor #7 – Mentorship
Do I need to seek out mentors in my personal and professional world? What could a mentor
help me do, prepare for, or grow in? And what troubles could I ward off by mentoring to
others?
Prescriptive Armor #8 – Ask, Seek and Knock – A Lot
Ask yourself is there something I need that I have a source for if I just “ask”?
Where can I “seek” for a solution today for a particular trouble I have? Is
there a door upon which I could “knock” but have not? Don’t, in other
words, have a solution to your troubles and not always stop and think “where could I
ask, seek and/or knock”? It works each and every time.
So go forth, seek out, and use your prescriptive armor daily. It is nearby for the
grasping and it will help you solve many of the troubles you run into. First seek wisdom.
Know your available resources. Plan financially. Build strong and solid
relationships. Invest wisely.
Stay maximally credentialed. Seek our great mentors and mentor back.
Step Five – Remember That Troubles Don’t Last If You…
| First do not harm. Always, always be caught on the side of right. I really believe that what goes around comes around. Don’t want to ever experience a particular harm or trouble? Let me suggest that you never do that level of harm. |
| Treat everyone right. I know sometimes we see people who treat others badly all the time who appear to have everything going for them. I have even at times felt that way myself. But don’t believe it. In the end your and my my Almighty has the last say. |
| Take Nothing For Granted. Know that life can throw you a loop and prepare for it. Don’t get caught with your guard down. If you are living or working in a difficult situation stop right now and write out the possible troubles your current circumstance could deal you and get prepared. Write next at least three tactics you can use if that circumstance shows up to haunt you. |
| Find Some Problem Solving Buddies. Know some other folk who are in your or a better situation? Hang tight with them. Be a sounding board for each other. Sit down in your positive moments and strategize for any expected trouble. Don’t get negative; stay positive and work as a team to chare a more benevolent course. |
| Strive to Keep Peace Everyday – 24/7/365. It is quite easy to fight unnecessary
battles. But remember, they take lots of energy. Be sure the troubles in your life
aren’t coming because you are not always in search of a dignified peace. Move away
from “I have to win and he/she/they have to lose” if that is a part of your
skit. Life is much too short to have ongoing and routine fights. Get Peace! It feels much better than the alternative. And don’t let others in your life get outside of peace….help them understand the benefits in it…Focus = Peace! |
| Stop Talking and Start Giving. Why, because I have found the more I and other people give the more we each receive! At work and at home stretch and expand to give more of you to others. You will be shocked to find that when you help others meet their unique needs or get past their troubles, the more the world watches out for you. You will notice that people watch your blind side, warn you of upcoming curves, open doors for you and help you and me…maximally when troubled times do come. So give, care, share, assist, encourage, mentor and prop up others and the same will come your way multifold. |
| Provoke No One To Wrath. An untroubled house is usually found with those who trouble not
or least. Do you know any folks in your world that seem to always be in an upheaval or
fighting with someone? Do you hate to see them coming because you know you are going to
hear something negative, naughty or unkind? Have you often worried about that person becoming a victim in a fight, drive by shooting or participant in a road or work rage incident? I have and it is a worrisome situation. Let’s you and I not go there. People today have lots of stress so our goal is not to increase it. |
| Live Up To Your Promises. Nothing brings trouble faster than promises not kept. Before we volunteer, we need to know that we can deliver. Thus, let us think twice before we jump on the help bandwagon. Aren’t we busy enough? Shouldn’t we plan ahead for what promises we will make? When you jot down your goals later or today for the next year, decide on your work and giving priorities. Do look at what you enjoy doing. Forecast now how much giving time you really have. Where do you want to spend it? People you like to be with? Or wherever you volunteer without thinking? You get the picture. |
| Look For The Lessons In Your Troubles. I often hear people who have had life threatening or catastrophic illness note that the illness was the best thing that ever happened to them. Have you heard such statements as well? What most of these individuals are trying to impart to us is that sometimes our greatest eye openers come from adversity. So when troubles come your way, step back from them and see what the “Great One” is trying to impart to you. What lesson is in your most recent adversity? Did you need the last calamity to get you on the right track? I am letting any trouble that comes my way grow me up for the next great challenge. |
| Pray, Meditate and Think Positive Thoughts. Now you can call me Miss Pray, Meditate and Positive Thoughts! There are worse things, you know, that one could be called. I have found that the more troubles, traumatized, downtrodden, or down in the dumps I get I go all out to pray, meditate and to have positive thoughts. I put on the whole armor or my belief and get down to the basics. How about you? Let me suggest that if you get overly troubled at work and at home that you fight it with all your energy. Pray, meditate and think positive thoughts. Some great thoughts are: |
| I can do this |
| I will survive this |
| I am healed |
| I believe I will succeed |
| I know that this, too, shall soon pass |
| I can survive it because it can’t kill me |
| God is on my side |
| The worst that can happen is…and I can survive that! |
| This is just helping me to be stronger |
| Etc. |
And don’t think I haven’t had “big troubles”, I have. I have had
“big” hurts. I have experienced “major” financial hurdles. I have
“lost” my dad, a great friend and other things. I have experienced
“huge” disappointments. I have had a “cancer” diagnosis. I have been
the victim of “imperfect” surgeries and “all” the calamities that go
with
them. I have been perhaps like you, deeply, deeply troubled but through it all even as I
write today, I thank God for my blessings. It is not always easy. Many don’t have a
strong faith, believe in God or have bounce-back potential. If you are one of them, hang
on. Learn to pray meditate and think positive thoughts. And work on forgiveness,
tolerance, patience and maximal love.
In Summary – Love, Love and Love Some More would be my summary point for you. If your
work environment and/or home environment has deeply hurt, troubled and/or traumatized you,
fall back on your great innate capacity to love, love and love some more. It may be hard
because what happened to you could have been catastrophic. It could have hurt you to your
core. It could have hurt your reputation, caused you financial ruin, thwarted your trust,
made you a laughing stock, caused you to be fired, treated you unfairly, changed your
future, damaged your soul and/or pained you endlessly but…but you must allow healing
through love to get past it. I know from which I speak because I have felt that much hurt.
I have faced many troubles. I have felt the depths of despair…but I know that you and
I can get past our deepest troubles. We can return to our unique mountaintop if we can
just hold to – rise up and understand…that “Troubles Don’t Last Always
If We Just…Just Meet Them Head On…and take them Step by Step with our eyes
focused on our sources of strength. And so until the next time – keep on keeping on
and much “trouble solving” to you and you and me, too!!
Dr. Gloria "Jo" Floyd, Ph.D., RN, The Nurses Coach is a nationally recognized
speaker, consultant, author and survival strategist working throughout the united states
who resides in San Antonio. You may contact her by email at DrGloriaJoFloyd@ncehs.com.
© 2000, Dr. Gloria "Jo" Floyd, The Nurses Coach, NCEHS, 23640
Scenic Loop Road, Building 2, San
Antonio, TX 78255,O=210-698-8700, F=210-698-8701